Will someone please tell me how to go back in time? Back to a time where my boy loved me unconditionally, trusted me wholly, confided in me for everything, and actually wanted to spend time with me. Back to a time when I could tell him something and he would trust me without a fault?
How do I let go of every anxiety I feel when he makes a decision that may not have been what I would have chosen for him? How do I let him make these mistakes and trust he is on the path that has been laid out for him? How am I going to make it through the teenage years without admitting myself into the nut house? How am I going to survive the ulcers I'm sure are coming in the near future?
How do I instill a work ethic that will translate into school work? I don't want to force him to care about his assignments, turning it in on time, and actually completing them, but I feel like given his track record thus far its my only option.
He use to be so trusting. He use to confide in me with out reprieve. What changed all that? Why is middle school so hard? I thought going through it was rough...but watching someone else that I love so deeply try and navigate it is far worse.
I want him to have the confidence he needs to make it through the rough times when girls break his heart. I want him to have the gusto to stand up to those who question him about the things he loves. I want him to see how special and absolutely amazing he is, and own it.
Bottom line I need to know how to make my kid believe in himself.
Everything so far he's gone through this year is killing me a little each day. I'm not sure I can take much more heartache. Why do I have this overwhelming desire to be the perfect parent? To know the right answer for every little thing.
Am I giving him the right guidance and protecting him from everything I'm suppose to so I can ensure when he reaches adulthood he won't come back to me and blame me for any and all issues he may have? Do I expect too much of him? I know I do of myself. How do I not project that?
Also how much freedom am I suppose to allow so he learns self control?
Middle school can kick rock as far as I'm concerned. This is stupid. I'm probably overreacting, I need a nap.
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